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Overall, I found the Final Major Project to be an overwhelming but rewarding experience. Due to my circumstances, I had a rough start to the project, but was able to pick it up later down the line once I was feeling better, as I was in withdrawal from my adhd medication due to a national shortage at the time.

While I am satisfied with my final outcome, I do have some regrets about it- I wish that I had been able to make the switch to working with more traditional mediums like lino sooner so I could have developed those skills better. I also wanted to be able to include more 3d objects into my final installation piece, had there been more space available for me to use. I do also regret not being able to incorporate any crochet work in my final outcome, as that had been a very big source of inspiration for me, encouraging me to switch from my original idea of working only digitally to trying more analogue techniques. 

That being said, I am extremely grateful that I was able to experiment with a new skill like carving lino in a project setting like this, since it helped me better understand myself as a creative practitioner as well. While it was definitely overwhelming, the FMP granted me a space to create art about something very close to me and my identity in a way that I do not think I would have ever considered without being given this opportunity. 

In the end, I decided to listen to the feedback I received from the quality control tutorial and keep my final outcome clean and simple with just the print and flower. 

I realised while reflecting on this feedback that thematically this provided the most clear-cut image of the concepts and narratives I wanted to communicate with this work, without overcomplicating it both visually and conceptually for the audience.

I attended a tutorial with our course leader to discuss and get feedback on whether my outcome was u to standard to be shown at the final graduate show. Initially, I was approached by her to meet about this earlier on, but as I had not been given any notice I had not brought my work with me. As such, I was scheduled in to meet at a later date to discuss my work.

The main piece of feedback I received was to scrap the table idea, and to put my work up in wallspace, keeping the print I was using as a placeholder as the backdrop, with my 3d flower coming out from the middle. 

A few peers and I booked a studio to take photos of our work, however it was the wrong studio and as can be seen in the close up of the flower, the camera was not in focus for a few of the images, hence the photos shown here are not to the highest quality I would have wanted them to be. However, given the time and budget restraints I was working with, this was all I could put out in time. 

I attended a workshop on realisation and communication to receive some guidance on the standard of work that was expected. I found the activity we did or making a diagram of our outcome extremely helpful, as well as the list-making activity. Both of these exercises allowed me to reframe the way I was thinking about my outcome and process, and to really take the time to consider who my audience was, what exactly I was trying to say with my work and whether I had done enough quality control checks on my final outcome.

Once the flower was ready, I took a few photos of a mock up of what I wanted my final outcome to look like- I wanted to incorporate the tray table I made my work on as it felt important to me to include some part of the process in the final outcome. I kept the print underneath the vase/flower as a placeholder to illustrate what the prints I planned to put directly onto the table would look like. I wasn’t sure if I wanted the vase to be part of the piece or not at this point, and was waiting to attend the quality control tutorial before making a concrete decision on the matter.

I found the process of making the paper flower challenging, but rewarding. It is a meaningful part of the final outcome for me, as it is based on a glass flower ornament my grandmother gifted me when I was younger. I wanted to have a personal element from my own conflicting identities be represented in a reimagined way- by making this flower from prints showcasing a narrative about not being able to show your whole self to those you care about, I was able to connect this concept to something in my own life without just using the object itself.

Following the feedback from the tutorial, and given time and budget limitations, I moved on to making my 3d object out of paper. I wanted some kind of floral motif for my work as it is a personal piece, and I have a strong connection to floral imagery. I based the design of the flower on a glass ornament I was gifted many years back by my grandmother. 

I began by using the double sided square prints I prepared to make the individual flower petals. I found this somewhat challenging, since I was working with thick paper, especially when it came to using adhesive to stick the ends together. However, by using a combo of glue and washi tape I was able to achieve this. 

I brought my work in to my formative feedback tutorial, still open to trying out an installation that I would set on the floor or a table of some kind. I had decided that I wanted to paint and print onto a tray table I owned, and print onto a vase and place that on top of it for my final outcome. 

However, at the tutorial, I was encouraged to keep going with my work, and also to try making 3d objects with paper/existing prints as well. As such, I agreed to go back and play more with paper 3d objects. 

Overall, I found this tutorial to be extremely helpful as it allowed for me to finalise what I wanted my final outcome to be, and to start working towards finishing the last few pieces of it.

Next, I did a few square prints, playing with a selection of different layering techniques. I incorporated watercolor in some, and tried to see if i could get a print just by laying the paper on top of the other prints as they dried, to get an imprint of sorts. 

These prints fit the narrative I wanted to present best- a slow transformation from an empty, clear canvas (sense of self) to a layered, overwhelming and confusing one, reflecting more and more iterations of oneself. 

Next, I made a print with only my Azazel (left) and Thanatos (right) blocks. I then used watercolor to paint the background for each the other’s assigned color. (So Azazel is on a blue background, blue being the colour assigned to Thanatos, and vice versa). I then layered smaller block prints I made of each on top of the main print. I also used fine paint pens to draw lilies on top of them, very faintly. I wanted to see if I could have a less busy print, but still have some details that take a second glance at least to notice fully. 

Once all my blocks were carved out, I started experimenting with making prints on a3 paper. 

I wanted to play with the layering style I had used earlier on my painting, but instead use my larger stamps of  Thanatos and Azazel, the 2 central characters to my narrative as the subject matter in the back, with every other character layered on top of them. I like how at first glance the print looks messy and hard to decipher, but the closer you look the more each detail begins to form itself. It tied together the layering and the interactive aspect I wanted my work to have very well.

I experimented with my work in portrait, trying to emulate the feeling of being lost in a daydream. I painted Thanatos and Azazel’s younger self with watercolor, but kept the rest uncolored to make a distinction between reality and daydream.